Thursday, October 13, 2011

Memories of a baby girl

:) My childhood was totally amazing.
I spent all of my afternoon climbing on the trees with my best friend Lidy, sometimes alone... During the Winter, we were skating on ice in the frozen ditches. Her grandma had so many cats in her small apartment... Wow. They were something like 15. I still remember the crocheted square blankets lying on every seat, on every couch or armchair... the fine doilies on every table or shelf. The old phone in the corridor I was using for calling Mom when I was invited for some yummy omelettes...
She was living in a country house. Not one of those fake country houses, with hyper-modern stuff...
Her parents were (and they're still) farmers. Her estate is pretty big... It's all sorrounded by vineyards, apricot trees, cherry trees, kiwis, peach trees, a persimmon tree and a fig. I keep in mind those beautiful days. We had enough room for building a little world there.
I had funny moments alone too.
Some times I like being alone. I've always been a lone wolf... since a was very young.
I was grown in a huge house of the seventeenth century but it was rundown... I don't have pictures of this house. I've been there until my 10th birthday then I moved half mile northern. 
 I never felt this new home, "home"... The only good thing of my "new" home (i live here since nearly 17 years) is that I have almost the same view. My window is pointed towards the mountains, where a castle lies on a spur.

My old house had a huge hallway... So huge, that in rainy days I was used to go there with my tiny bike. It was full of corridors, rooms, empty apartments, scary cellars, a little bridge (yes a little bridge! *-*)... Can you imagine the fun?!
We were to rent and very poor. For the first years the toilet was a little cubby-hole outside, in the courtyard and during the winter we had to go there with a hot-water bucket cause the ice, then my father built a cozy bathroom. This house wasn't healthy and safe but for me was the best house I ever seen.
I remember my mom's plants. They were so green, so luxuriant, so many!!!
The smell of the floor wax, the tons of books stored on the shelves. The large windowsills and the thick walls. The scent of the wood burning in the stove.
Yes, we were very poor and the furniture was adequate to our economic situation but I had always good times there. My home was always neat and cozy... I need to thank my parents... They had never denied anything to me and my brother.
I was raised like a boy... I had dolls but I was always climbing on the trees or digging in the ground or playing with the wood or running with the bike.
I was a happy baby girl. I was always smiling, even I've always been a melancholy girl. Even we had very bad times in the early 90. Even if I was so frightened by the nightmares and the darkness.
I still sleep with a night-lamp (Shhhh! It's a secret!).
Simply, I was a child and childs are stronger than adults.
I was untouchable by poverty.
I was happy, and in some ways I still am. The good memories are one of the best remedies like the good friends.
In those last mounths I am experiencing the same situation. Almost every day I find in my mailbox stuff sent by collection agencies and I can't pay any of them. Today is hard. Is not like in the childhood. Now you have to walk on your own. The smile still remains but isn't that steady. I know a lot of people are living in worse conditions in comparison with mine, but it's a cold comfort sometimes. I think everyone lives his personal little hell and, fortunately, his little heaven at times.
You can't bear the weight of the whole world. It's enough to carry your own weight...
But don't forget to keep free one of your shoulders... A good friend may need help, or ...just a smile!

Love , Chiara

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